New Beginnings

By Bernadette A Sahm

Today we celebrate the first day of Spring. Spring is always about new beginnings, hope, light, life and more. For us this day a is a day of moving forward and moving in a new direction. Today we said, “Bye bye to Malbay Drive.” After 32 years today is the day that we turned over possession of a home we loved and raised our family in, we hope the new owners enjoy it as much as we did.

And today my husband had his “exit interview” leaving his job with local government after 8 years. Before that he served for 35 years with City government. If anyone deserves “retirement” it is him. He has worked hard his whole adult life.

Last summer I left my job and for a while I entertained other employment opportunities that presented themselves to me. Yesterday a dear friend sent me a link to another professional position that she thought was good for me. It paid $80,000 to $100,000 dollars a year. In the past I might have jumped at it. I was clearly qualified to do it, but times have changed, and I want something different, a new beginning.

My husband and I share the same work ethic, do your job and do it to the best of your ability. We are “grinders” who went to work every day and focused on raising our family and paying our own way. In the end both of our jobs wanted to “celebrate us” with a party or luncheon, breakfast etc., We both declined. Our feelings are simple “celebrate” us while you have us and while we are still working with you and for you, not after we made the decision to go in a new direction. We are thankful for all the opportunities that have been given to us.

We have friends who have moved, who are newly widowed and others going through a divorce, whether change was forced upon them, a new beginning is ahead. We do well when we embrace change and when we “spring forward” into what comes next for us.

Our immediate plans for our “new beginnings” will be about maintaining good health with proper diet and exercise, we have travel plans for each month through the end of this year. Our goals are “happiness” seeking joy and happiness in all that life brings.

As I write this, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and my heart if filled with love. I am so thankful to God for bringing my husband to me. After 32 years together our love has grown deeper and richer. Now we get to focus on each other and the fun stuff and God willing lots of it.

Well played, dear Brian, I am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished!

To all my readers I hope that your Spring season and Easter or whatever holiday season that you celebrate, comes with much sunshine and the glow and excitement of embracing new beginnings …

#spring #newbeginnings #life #seasons #startingover #seasonsoflife #retirement

Follow Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Winter Whispers

by Bernadette A. Sahm

Winter whispers

Quiet snow

Light and so white

Staying new

Practice solitude

Quiet light cold and bright

Freezing temperatures

Slow and steady

Boots sweaters

Comfy soft scarves

Coats and gloves

Winter’s inner hugs

Crisp fresh air

Calm and bright

Solice

Winter wonder

Sit and ponder

This glorious winter whispers

#winter #snow #weather

Pink Corduroy Pants

By Bernadette A. Sahm

(Please note this is a light read. Recently WordPress sent me my site stats and one of my blogs has over 28,000 reads and hundreds of comments too. Sadly, it is a much heavier subject and has garnered much attention. All appreciated!)

Have you ever loved something so much that you went and purchased it in every color? 

Last winter I found pink and red and white and black corduroy pants from Talbots that fit me like a dream. I was losing weight and down to a size 10. This year I returned and there they were again in style and at the very front of the store. This time I purchased wine and turquoise corduroy pants in a size 8 and again they fit like they were tailor made for me.

A few days ago, I met with a professional photographer and as soon as we introduced ourselves, she said, “I love your pink corduroy pants” without skipping a beat, I shared with her, and I have them in all these colors and I love them. Then I remembered last year at the dentist office the girls in the office were commenting that they loved my red corduroy pants. Of course, it made me smile because I feel so good in them and love them too.

I stopped wearing blue jeans and wear my cords all winter long. They are so comfortable and fun to wear, they make me happy.

My husband is a long time Levi’s jeans wearer and this Christmas Levi’s had men’s corduroy pants. He tried them on, and they fit like they were made for him. Guess who is now creating his own collection of corduroy pants? He now has them in brown, black and gray and they look amazing on him.

I remember corduroy when I was a kid. I had them in a burnt orange color bell-bottoms when I was about twelve and traveled from our farm in Pennsylvania to family friends in Baltimore, Maryland. They were special and made me feel good. I also had them in overalls in a brighter orange color when I was in high school. Loved them then as well!

Apparently, my love of corduroy started when I was young and lingers on even stronger today. They make me happy! What makes you happy? What do you bring into your world both big and small that makes you smile and feel good?

So here is to all of us enjoying an abundance of all the things we love, and enjoying them in as many colors as we love …

Peace, love, and blessings in this New Year 2024!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

How do you do cozy?

By Bernadette A. Sahm

Chunky sweaters, down coats, mittens, scarves, furry hats and nice warm boots! Its layering season and “cozy” season and I am all in … who doesn’t like the warmth of a crackling fire or the aroma of fresh hot coffee or hot steamy cups of cocoa.

How do you do cozy? I love having the oven on making breads or cakes, pies and cookies. Or a big pot of homemade soup and chili. The smell of the fallen leaves and the crisp fresh air all bring me to that feeling of cozy.

Cool cotton sheets and light blankets have given way to cozy flannel sheets and big and bulky down comforters. There are extra blankets and more throw blankets around the house. The woodstove is burning wood and cords of fresh cut wood is stacked and ready to go.

The food pantry and the freezer seem fuller with a variety of items. As I age, I have learned to embrace the chillier weather and not to fight it or complain about it but rather to just go with it. Wear the right clothing so that cozy is what I feel rather than cold and freezing. I love the crisp fall air that is soon to give way to winter weather. It’s natures life cycle and I fully embrace it.

So pull out your flannel shirts, dust off your boots and bring back those coats and hats and gloves. Its cozy season and the best way to enjoy it is to be prepared and to take in as much “cozy” as you can …

“The perfect antidote to dark, cold and creepy is light, warm and cozy.” Candice Olson

Have a warm and safe and cozy Thanksgiving all!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and/or follow me on Facebook link above or Instagram at bernadettesahm

Healthy Detachment

By Bernadette A. Sahm

Any time that we are “leaving” whether it is a home, a job or a relationship we are afforded the opportunity to practice healthy detachment. Putting your house on the market and letting in the masses is something that never feels good, but by practicing a healthy detachment can be a lot easier to experience.

We went through some strange experiences with a prospective “buyer” for our home. I plan to blog more about it at a later date. For now, all I can say is what we said when I was a real estate agent more than 30 years ago. The line was “buyers are liars” and we certainly did have this experience. More later …

Leaving is a natural part of living. We leave jobs, relationships and home so that we may live differently and experience new things. One door closes to that we may open others.

As you age you let more and more things go, it is just a natural progression of life. I have had my share of loss and leaving things that no longer serve me well.

I started this blog days ago, yet early this morning I heard from the person who accepted the position that I left in August. Another experience of practicing “healthy detachment” I wished her “good luck” and shared very little. She needs to create her own opinions and experiences, just like I had before her.

Letting go and freeing oneself is healthy when we approach it with a positive attitude and are receptive to what is ahead for us. With “healthy detachment” we are afforded the opportunity to experience healthy attachments.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

No Need to Water the Dead Plants

by Bernadette A. Sahm

Recently I had an awakening about where when and what I was doing with my support and energy. Most people that know me know that I have an energy that is positive and upbeat. That if you want something done and you want it done properly, I am that “go to” person.

Our energy our disposition is how we carry ourselves and what the world sees in us. Do we inspire others and grow our world and our relationships? Or are we literally watering dead plants by giving our energy to those with an empty cup. The ones with a void so vast that it literally can never be filled. The ones who believe they are entitled and owed. The ones who take and take and give little or nothing back.

By nature, I am a giving person as I firmly believe that giving is for the giver and that it truly is in giving that we receive. As a professional development director and professional fundraiser for more than 25 years I have witnessed the most generous people. And sadly, I have also witnessed the biggest takers who feel entitled and as though the world owes them.

Take stock! Where and who are you giving your time and treasure. Are you watering a thriving garden and growing garden or dead plants that offer little or nothing in return.

As far as fundraising goes successful people want to give to successful organizations. They want to know that their gifts are making a difference and that those in receipt are operating as good stewards. Stewardship is so important to the success of an organization. Simply put, do they take care of all that they have been given? Or do they live large on the donations and gifts of others.

Take the time to research the nonprofits that you support. So many are doing great things and good works. Ask for their financials.

We have a private Catholic school in my community that never loses focus on their mission. Their mission is to provide a good solid Catholic school education. They may receive millions of dollars to support a state-of-the art stadium and gym facility, but they also make it known that regardless of the donation, 20% of the gift automatically goes into school tuition to support kids that otherwise couldn’t afford it. This keeps their mission alive well and thriving. It also allows them to stay true to their mission and purpose.

Like most people I receive donation requests often and almost daily from a host of nonprofit organizations. The easiest ones to support are the ones that offer basic needs like food, clothing, housing and education. Seeing kids with cancer and animal cruelty also pulls at my heartstrings and makes for an easy response. I support my Catholic High school as I benefitted from a wonderful education there and hope to support them in giving others that same opportunity and experience.

United Way and Tunnel to Towers use well over 90% of their gifts and donations to support their primary missions, simply put they are excellent stewards of the gifts that they receive They readily share their financial statements.

We vote with our dollar and with so many in need, take the time to learn as much as possible to support the good stewards who are doing great things and at all costs avoid watering the dead plants.

#giving #donations #nonprofit #relationships #healthyrelationships #donors #stewardship #worthycauses

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Enjoying the Edit

by Bernadette A. Sahm

These past few months we have been “editing” our homes. We are at the age where most people call it “downsizing”, but I don’t like the sound of that, it sounds like living with less or less of a life. That is not the case here at all. We are becoming tired of any clutter and find more joy in open spaces, emptier walls and enjoying taking the time to “edit” what we currently own.

All those collectible items, that we once just had to have, now feel like space takers and dust collectors and things that need to be managed. We are enjoying the “editing” process where we have gifted household items and clothing. We began the process with a dumpster out front for trash, we burned old papers and documents. Multiple trips to Goodwill and clothing drop off bins, we had family in to take what they could use. We gave much away, and we donated so much too. It feels good and it feels so freeing.

Just like in nature and with seasonal changes, it is time to let the dead things go.

We like the emptier closets and managing our favorite things, where less just feels better. So many things just didn’t make the cut anymore. I was hanging on to certain furniture items from Eathan Allen. Items that were re-upholstered and well made. When my husband said, “we have had them for over thirty years, I think we have gotten our money’s worth out of them.” He was 100% correct. It was time to purge and time to edit them out. It was time for someone else to enjoy them just as we had done.

There is joy in both the gifting and joy in managing less stuff. It’s been a process and time consuming, but well worth the efforts. What can you get rid of that no longer serves you, what can you remove to create open space and free yourself?

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

#editing #purging #letgo #lessismore “freeing

I Used to Be A “Yes” Girl

by Bernadette A. Sahm

There was a time when I was a “people pleaser” and a “yes” girl but not anymore. Today I absolutely delight in saying “no” “no thank you” and “that’s not for me.” When I go with my gut, I instantly feel better. This past July I decided to leave my job and almost immediately the pain in my knee ceased and my stomach issues went away. The job was making me sick. The stress of it was wearing on my body. The demands being made were unattainable and unrealistic. It was time for me to say “good-bye” and I did. Not one day since my departure have, I missed the job and all the work and effort that went with it.

If I go to a movie or a restaurant and it isn’t going well or not up to my expectations, I have no desire to stay as I will politely leave. I have been offered jobs with great compensation packages and kindly stated, “thank you so much but no thanks.” Life is short and whatever time I have left is more valuable than agreeing to say “yes” just to please someone else when I know deep down inside it is not what I want, and isn’t right for me.

And when I do respond with “yes” I am all in and passionate about what I agree to doing. A halfhearted “yes” is not where I want to be, my ‘no” response is with love and respect. Thank you kindly for thinking of me but I will pass.

Earlier this weekend I received a phone call with interest in me for an Executive Director position. I did not seek out this position but was truly honored to be considered. I am not 100% sure what I want at this stage of my life, but I am 100% certain of what I don’t want. Peace is the goal, period. I want to feel good physically, mentally and emotionally. I want my spirit to soar and to shine. The only thing I know for sure is that responding with my gut reaction is always the best way to maintain my highest and best self.

So here is to the wisdom in knowing, when to say “yes” and when to say “thanks, but no thanks, that’s just not for me” Young people often believe there is power in a positive “yes” response, even when they know deep down inside it isn’t right. Maturity teaches us that “no” is a much better answer when it aligns with our true self…

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

One Door Closes

by Bernadette A. Sahm

That famous line about when one door closes another door opens, often we need to close doors so that we may make other choices. Our days here are like dollars in the bank, how do we want to spend them and how much do we have to spend.

We never know what is up ahead or what is just around the corner, we live in faith and move along in trust and faith. We make choices, whatever I have done with my life and my life choices I have done with conviction and pure passions. If I haven’t loved it, I didn’t do it. Life is just so short to settle for anything less.

No matter my choices I always took on both my career choices and personal choices with love and with determination. I strived to be the best that I could be, always wanting to do well and achieve at the highest and best level. Being a mother was one of the greatest joys and greatest challenges in my life. For 38 consecutive years I had children in my home. The oldest one left over 25 years ago and the last one just a few years ago. I loved having them and when it was time, I was so happy that they were out the door and on their own. I had given raising them my all, and when it was over, it was over. I was done.

As much as I loved raising children, the years that followed in our home with my husband Brian and our precious pooches, have been some of the happiest in my life. When we lost our pups Happy and Chipper, we grieved this loss. It was sad, down the road we brought home Bailey and Buddy, brother and sister Bichon Frises. If we didn’t lose Happy and Chipper, we would never have gotten Bailey and Buddy. One life change was the catalyst for another life change. When one door closed, we chose to open another one.

For years my husband and I have been discussing moving to our beach house full time, this would translate into leaving our jobs and selling our primary residence. A home that we have lived in for coming up on 32 years. Big decisions.

Sometimes we make life altering decisions and sometimes they are made for us. A few months ago, my job moved into an office after moving out of a Center that was located in a park-like setting complete with a Chapel, dining room and numerous meeting rooms, offices and 1-, 2- and 3-bedroom apartments. It was a move that I reluctantly went along with, yet my heart was never in it.

Previously I’ve been blessed to work at a beautiful bright special needs school, a retreat house on 55 acres with a recreational pool facility, and a historic opera house. All beautiful locations with much room to roam and places and spaces to create.

As I have matured, there have been less and less anxiety around my choices and my decisions. History has taught me that I will always land right where I am meant to be, I have been blessed. Each and every change and challenge afforded me an opportunity to grow, to mature, and to develop.

We close doors to that we will have an opportunity to open new doors. Here is to not ever staying past your welcome and always seeing the opportunities that closing one door may lead us as we open new doors and create new beginnings.

Change is coming and change is most welcome …

Bernadette A. Sahm on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Positivity Promotes Productivity

By Bernadette A. Sahm

My husband and I have more than 50 years collectively as “managers” and have witnessed all kinds of behaviors in the workplace from both management and employees. With Covid-19 still being so fresh, we see how this has left a lasting impact on both leadership and their workforce.

Much has changed since we entered the workforce more than 40 years ago. It used to be that if you held one or more career jobs that was the norm and those that garnered many jobs were looked at with a discerning eye. Why can’t “they” keep a job? Today it is not uncommon for very successful employees to hold numerous positions with varied companies in their career and it is often deemed both healthy for the employer and the employee.

There are all kinds of management styles from the micro-manager to the absent manager. Some managers like to be hands on, and control all their teams and some delegate to varied skilled staff members and others are absent.

In my career I have been very blessed with managers that were so positive that they promoted much productivity. These were the cheerleaders and the appreciative ones. When I was a Realtor, my manager was so positive and thought so highly of you that you never wanted to let her down. I was highly successful and as the youngest agent was consistently in the top 25% in productivity. Her replacement was the complete opposite and was critical, untrusting and a micro-manger. She never seemed happy, and our office production suffered as a result. She didn’t last long.

Later I went into nonprofit work and had the absolute best time working for the company President. He was a true visionary and a real character, with limitless energy and deep dedication to the mission. Almost immediately he tied me to the Leadership Development Team where I was 1 of 17 members. I was so energized, and I learned so much about nonprofit work and special needs education. The best part of the leadership team was taking in other ideas and contributions from colleagues that were engaged in everything from teaching, social work, psychiatrists, doctors, operations, finance, and development. The ability to share and to view our work and the company mission through other paradigms was priceless.

Some of the best conversations my husband and I share is our kinship in management style. We both believe that you hire the best people and then give them the necessary tools to do their job. In today’s market there is no room for micro-managers. Old school techniques are often viewed as abusive by the younger generation. They are hungry to succeed and want the support they need with guidance that comes from those who came before them with experience. My husband is a great manager because he is so level and even keeled, he is honest, and kind and mission driven. He knows how to last and how to get along with all kinds of people.

Skills can be taught, the ability to get along with co-workers that come from different skill sets and offer diverse abilities and talents are so valuable. Getting along in a positive and productive environment is stellar for any organization.

When it comes to my style, I like to promote people from within and give them the room to grow and the necessary tools for success. My greatest contributions to the workforce might not be my own gifts and talents as much as the young people who learned from me or interned for me and have gone on to do great things in their own careers.

Positivity promotes productivity … it really is that simple!

Bernadette Sahm began working as a teenager as a volunteer Candy Striper at a local Catholic Hospital and a Camp Counselor, later she became a real estate agent, shop owner and author before a long career in fund development for a few nonprofit organizations.